6/365 - Coming Home

Leaving camp and coming home was an emotional experience. I was giddy and nearly delusional from a week of very little sleep. I was used to spending all day and night with my peer group and having silly girl talk all the time. The idea of home, with my parents and brother and TV and video games - all seemed foreign. 

But I was also excited. I was excited to tell my parents about my decision. When they picked me up and took me home, I babbled for hours - probably making very little sense. I remember telling my parents in a rush, along with my descriptions of the food, games, music and roommates. I don't remember that it had much an impact - but probably because my words were slurred together. They did give me some lunch and sent me off to bed. 

Those first days home were strange. I missed the excitement of being surrounded by kids my age, I missed the rigid structure of morning services and group devotionals. I started reading my bible, but found I wasn't sure where to start. It also felt strange not to talk out loud to others about it. I journaled some of these early experiences, but for the most part it was just strange. 

I do remember that my parents were quietly pleased. They seemed to be happy about my decision and probably wondered if it would get me to clean my room more often. 

The one thing that I experienced in a truly positive way was my prayer life. I was never one for formal prayers and I felt the permission and freedom to pray to God in a way I would speak to a friend. There wasn't a structured "on my knees" time or words to recite, I just talked. Sometimes out loud, sometimes not. Sometimes through writing - that helped me keep my thoughts focused. And I felt peace. True peace that I was being heard. That my thoughts mattered - which is all any 13 old girl ever wants.