63/365 Ten Years ago (a reflection)

It's been very difficult to write about this time of my life. I've been thinking about it for weeks, putting it off, struggling over the words. Sometimes I want to skip ahead, sometimes I want to go back. 

But I believe I need to write about it. I'm just not entirely sure how. 

I think I am struggling with it because this is one of defining times. You know, those times you look back on and realize that it shaped the very being of who you are. A time where if you said or did a different thing, you might have led a very different life? Anyone who has seen Sliding Doors (one of my fave movies) know what I'm talking about. 

This internship set a path for me. It was the beginning to something that truly defined who I became, who I saw myself as. It opened up doors and dreams that I might not have had. 

There are times when I play the what if game. What if I didn't get the internship that year? What if I turned it down? What if I just did the bare requirements of it and never looked back? What if I did it and ran for the hills after it was over? What if......

But there are no what ifs. There are a lot of "did" and "was" and "happened".

And as my parents tell me all the time, hindsight is 20/20. 

So I'll try to move forward, try to sort it out. I'll try to figure out a way to write about it and explain how I felt as truthfully as possible.