33/365 It's Okay To Say No!

While in my first year of college, I eventually gave up being so down on the whole experience. I tried to find the good in it and started making friends. I chatted with the people in my classes and went to a couple of groups to see where I felt I fit in.

One of the groups I enjoyed was InterVarsity Christian Fellowship. I knew one of the guys there from church and he introduced me to his friends. They were friendly, nice people who seemed interested in me as a person. We got together for lunch once a week, talked some bible talk and God stuff and generally got to know each other as friends. I was one of the youngest - it seemed like most were in their 3rd or 4th year of school. One of the sweetest parts was they had an on campus office that we could use. So when I needed a quiet place to study or read, I didn't have to fight the hordes at the library or common areas. 

Throughout the year I became more involved. I even went on a retreat or two with them. Some of the people in leadership roles were getting ready to graduate and leave school. Towards the end of the year, they began to talk about filling soon to be vacant positions of leadership. A few times, they casually mentioned that I might be good at this position or that, but I just nodded and said, "that's interesting". 

Truth was I was quite busy. I had school, friends, family, extensive volunteer work at church, part time jobs and a life. I really didn't feel like this was another area I could spread myself thin for. But I was raised to be polite and when someone compliments you and says they see potential in you - you accept the flattery and work to prove them right. 

So as the year came to a close, I began to feel real pressure. They finally came out and asked me to step into a position of leadership that I just wasn't ready for. It wasn't that I didn't think I was good enough or smart enough to do it - I just really didn't want to. I was happy with all the other stuff I was doing. I told them so and their response was "Well, let's just pray about it". 

(For those of you not raised in a Christian-type experience, that's code for "give it some time and you'll change your mind" - normally because you feel you are letting God down). 

They kept asking, I kept saying no. 

Push came to shove when I was invited to go on a one day leadership retreat for people who would be assuming positions of leadership in their organization. I told them no, since I wasn't going to be taking any positions. They said I could come along even though I wasn't going to do it, because they had already paid for the extra ticket and someone backed out. They would give me a ride and everything. 

So, I went. 

Sure enough, as soon as we got there, I was introduced to the other people there from all over the region as one of their new leaders. I kept correcting them and telling people that I had turned it down, but they just smiled and said, "She'll come around". 

So that was it.

I went in the next week and had a meeting with the on campus head person. I explained the whole story and my feelings. He gave his input, he felt I was was selling myself short and that this would be a good stepping stone for my future. I explained that even if I did agree with him on those topics, I could never belong to a group who had used such an aggressive bullying tactic. He accepted that. We parted ways, with really no bad blood. I still hung out with my friends from time to time. 

I learned through that experience that just because there is a need doesn't mean that you are the one to fill it. It's okay to say no, even if it's "for God".