As I said, my internship began with the ominous warning that things would be different from what other interns experienced.
Part of the changes involved job restructuring. That's a nice way of saying that the person who ran the children's department for years and years was being pulled out to run a much bigger group. Her next in command was promoted up to head and I was there to fill in as needed. This happened I believe mere weeks before my job began.
Nothing was settled. Nothing.
Meetings were constant and everlasting. No one seemed very sure of what was supposed to be happening and needed lots of guidance - which was to be expected. There was also a new full time staff person who was new to the group and the programs and needed to learn it all quickly.
This was all piled on me in the first few weeks.
Anyone who knows me knows that I take on things that may seem overwhelming. I enjoy a challenge and have had a hard time saying no. Even when I should back down, I feel like it shows weakness to give up. So I will push on no matter how difficult something is.
I found myself volunteering for more and more. Need someone to run the volunteers meeting? I'll do it! Need someone to fill in for the teacher who is traveling for the next few weeks? I'll do it! Need someone to teach Saturday nights and Sunday mornings? I'll do it! Need someone to stay after and print a couple hundred copies? I'll do it!
There are many reasons for this. First off - I was young and stupid. I felt like if someone needed to be done, then obviously I should do it! After all, I was the intern. I also am a bit of a control freak and have a hard to giving stuff away. Finally, I didn't want to appear weak. I felt like saying "no" would make me look bad.
I realize now, just how unhealthy this all was.
1 comment:
It's funny how you think things will be great and they end up hurting you more than you know.
And in the end, its the thing that helps you grow the most.
Sometimes.
I know exactly how you feel.
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